need this baby

My kitchen and my heart both really really need this sweet owl cookie jar from Anthropologie.  I'll even start buying cookies to keep in it - twist my arm.  Name ideas: Hootie, Hedwig, Young Errol.

hoo & hoo*,
AB


*owl for love & cookies

How I did it, Step 1: Get Real

 I want to start by saying that I cannot express how awkward I feel writing this.  I know that having a blog would lead you to believe that I can't wait to share my opinions and insight, but I actually get nervous about a more personal or prescriptive post.  But in the past few months, and especially the past few weeks, I've had a few people ask me how I lost the weight.  I normally just say (a little uncomfortably) "Diet and exercise! It sucks!" just to avoid diving into the really thrilling topic of calorie counting and body image.  I was a little nervous to blog about this because I don't want to come across as all holier-than-thou skinnybetch, but I figured my blog was a good place to really map it out, if anyone is interested, and share my story of how I lost 35 pounds. 

So, how did I do it?

I wish this was a quick answer, but it's really dozens of small changes that got me here. I am DEFINITELY not an expert in nutrition, fitness, or anything related.  I just made small adjustments over the course of the year until I had completely different habits, and a whole new approach to my health.  This is definitely not a to-do list for anyone looking to lose weight, more like some loose guidelines to help get you on the right track.  I'm going to blog in pieces about the changes I made, and hopefully you can adjust them to fit your daily life and start seeing the change you're looking for.

Before I get into step one, I also want to say that "How I did it" might be misleading.  This is an ongoing process for sure.  These changes are lifestyle changes, and I'm still growing and adapting.  I'm not still trying to lose weight, but I am trying to maintain a healthy lifestyle.  So maybe this whole series should be called "How I did it and am still doing it every day" but that's kind of a mouthful and I like to keep things catchy around here.

Step 1: Get Real
The first, and probably the most important step, of my weight loss journey (that phrase seriously cracks me up - I can barely take this seriously anymore), was a reality check.  In my mind I had been trying to lose the extra 40ish pounds I put on in college for two years.  In reality, I had just been worrying about my extra weight while doing absolutely nothing about it.  I wanted to lose weight, but I refused to change.  I was not ready to put in the effort, so I made excuses.

And then one day I looked in the mirror, and I had to realtalk it with myself.  I was detagging half of my facebook pictures because of how I looked.  I was too embarrassed to work out at a gym because I could barely run a mile without walking.  I was unhappy, and I had finally had enough.  I wish I could tell you what came over me, or what changed in me, but all of a sudden, I was ready.  I wanted to feel better and I was ready to work for it.  I got online, calculated my BMI, cried, and set my goals. 

What I want anyone reading this to take away from Step 1, is that this has to come from you.  You have want this.  Any attempts you make will be halfhearted until you are ready to change.  Get real with yourself.  Set goals.  And know that you will accomplish them. 

I'll blog with Step 2 soon!  If I tried to cram this all into one post it would be insanely long.  This Step 1 post alone was really long.  If you read this whole thing you MUST be serious about losing weight....or just like insanely bored.

love and realtalk,
AB

for all the new years resolution haters

Last year, my New Years resolution was to lose weight.  I broke it down into smaller, more manageable goals, and for the first time in my life actually stuck with a resolution and saw amazing results.  So nothing irritates me more than being in the locker room this time of year and hearing all these gym regulars complain about how crowded the gym is with New Years resolution go-ers.  All I hear is "UGH, where were these people a month ago?" and (my favorite) "Don't worry, they'll be gone in February."

To the locker room betches who think they are god's gift to fitness:  You probably were not always in great shape.  Maybe you were, and that's awesome for you.  But there was probably a time when you walked into the gym, unable to do more than jog a mile and lay on the ground pretending to do crunches (wait, was that just me?).  So if there's someone new at your gym, and all they can do right now is walk on a treadmill, you should admire them for being brave enough to come out and do that while impatient people like you tap their feet in the background.  I'm assuming that you are also the person who posts obnoxious articles on Facebook about obesity in America and whatever weird fad diets you're trying, so let me remind you that if you are so concerned with our nation's health, you should probably be celebrating this many new people at the gym instead of hoping they'll be gone in February.  Michelle Obama is disappointed in you.

To the New Years Resolution-ers:  You can do it.  It's difficult, and it really will take all year, if not longer, but you can and will do it.  If all you can do at first is walk on the treadmill, then walk an extra five minutes just to make those betches wait.  Eventually you'll be running, biking, whatever you want to do, and you'll be great at it.  You'll be in shape, and you will surprise even yourself with what you can do.  You might even wish you could work out on days you can't, because eventually working out will feel GOOD.  You will feel like a different person. 

And this time next year, you'll be in the locker room noticing all the New Years Resolution-ers, and you'll be telling them that they can do it, too.

love and haterade,
AB

how many times can I say the word fluff?

I know it's been WAY too long since I last updated the bloggy.  I think I discovered the root of the problem.... sometimes I just can't decide what to blog about.  I know that sounds like a stupid problem, so let me explain a little bit more (and maybe it will sound more stupid?).  It's a classic battle between oversharing and fluff.

Sometimes I'll have something on my mind, and I'll think about what a great blog post that would be.  And then I get nervous because it's a little personal.  I don't want to freak people out with an overshare. I don't know exactly what direction I want the blog to go in, so I'm wary of taking it into overly personal waters and accidentally turning this into a public diary.  When I start to get a little bit of overshare anxiety, my natural overreaction is to want to blog something really fluffy.  I love fluff. But I I don't want the blog to be a string of shallow one liners and instagrams.

So all of this internal blog struggle added up to me looking a little frazzled seriously insane while I typed out sentences and then backspaced them letter by letter.  Which led to, you know, no blog posts for a really long time.

But I'm back!  With a new blog-strategy in my back pocket called "balance"...and also better time management.  It's really time consuming to delete paragraphs letter by letter.

So, working on the assumption that anyone still reads my blog (hello?  hello?  hello? ), get ready for the ultimate balance of lighthearted and real-talk.

love and moderate fluff,
AB

long day?

It's possible that I've gone insane.  Someone named Erica just called me at work and I answered the phone by saying, "This is Erica, how can I help you?" ..... After a fairly smooth recovery from that awkward beginning, I ended the conversation by saying "Well, goodnight!" ....It's 3pm. 

Considering grabbing an afternoon coffee...

love and "that 2:30 feeling,"
AB

it's almost friday...

I heard this song on the promo for TLC's new show "Breaking Amish" (obviously have the season set to record), and I LOVE IT!  Hope it helps you carry on until Friday.

love and fun,
AB

photographic evidence

I owe you an apology.  Because I do some really cool things in my free time, and then as soon as they're over I'm like "BLOODY HELL!  I DIDN'T TAKE A PICTURE (THAT MOVES!)!!"  Oh I didn't tell you guys that I'm a British teenage wizard?  I'll update my about me. 

I just get caught up in what I'm actually doing and forget to take a picture (wait, is this really a problem?).  Sorry for being too in the moment?  I just want to provide myself and my blog some nice picture reminders of my mini-adventures!

For now, I'll leave you with some close ups of some art projects I'm working on.  Maybe later there will be evidence that I have friends that are not shirts or canvases.

love and instagrams,
AB